Adventures Behind The Bar

Do put your money on the bar when ordering a drink. This simple act immediately separates the pros from the amateurs.

Don’t wave your money or your empty glass/bottle when you want a drink.

Don’t order one drink at a time, or pay for each drink separately with a credit card.

Do have your drink order ready, especially if it’s busy.

Don’t shred your cocktail napkins, beer coasters, or beer labels.

Don’t order a Bloody Mary after 6pm…just don’t.

Don’t complain about your tab. This is a courtesy, and after four shots and five beers are you really in any condition to argue about money with a sober bartender?

Do be patient. Most likely you aren’t the only one wanting a drink.

Don’t complain about prices. If it’s too expensive, finish your drink and go to another establishment. Chances are the bartender didn’t price the drinks.

Do realize bartenders are there to serve you; however, they are people, not slaves.

Don’t order drinks by obscure names unless you know what’s in them. I’m sure you loved the Slippery Pink Alligator you drank while on spring break in Florida, but it was probably something the bartender made up on the spot, or it’s a specialty drink for that bar. Most bartenders will gladly try and concoct it for you, so long as you know what’s in it.

Don’t spill your drink…twice. Spilling once is okay, spilling twice is usually the sign you’ve had enough.

Don’t ask the bartender, “What’s on tap?” when giant tap handles are clearly marked two inches from your nose.

Don’t ask for free drinks. This is just bad.

Don’t ask for samples of all the beer, especially if you’re at a brewery. This isn’t Baskin Robbins. Please disregard if you’re at a wine bar. Most wine bars encourage tasting.

Do carry your ID with you at all times, even if you know the bartender.  If you can’t prove you’re over twenty-one to the authorities, the bar could get fined.

Don’t complain when you get carded. View it as a compliment.

Don’t say you know the owner, unless you really do. Sometimes the owner is the bartender, and if that’s the case, good luck getting yourself out of that one.

Do tip well. Most bartenders work for minimum wage, and don’t have health insurance.

Last, but not least, please don’t drive home if you’ve been drinking. Paying for a taxi is nothing compared to the lifetime of guilt and misery you’ll experience if you get into an accident.

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